Just Win the Moment My Journey with Anxiety Professor Ramos Blog

Just Win the Moment My Journey with Anxiety I am jolted awake by people moving and music playing.Where am I?I wonder. I look around and see my friend’s mother next to me, whose shoulder I had fallen asleep on. Then I remember. I’m on my high school’s east coast tour,in New York City, on Broadway, inside a theater, seeingPhantom of the Opera. I feel so hot and cramped. It’s getting harder to breathe. I’m scared. My stomach turns in pain.Oh no,I think,I’m having an anxiety attack.I quickly climb over the people sitting next to me, not caring if I bump into them.I need to get out of here.I sprint up the stairs of the steep balcony.Where is the bathroom in this place?I burst through the opening to the main hallway and see an extensive line.So many people.â€Å"Is this for the bathroom?† I ask a girl standing in line. â€Å"Yeah,†sheresponds.Nonononononono. This can’t be happening. I NEEDto get out of here. Stairs. I see stairs. I go and sit down on the stairs and feel a moment’s relief of calm. I wish it had lasted longer. Then a man approaches. I look up at him. He has such a kind face. He looks like he works here. â€Å"You can’t sit there, Miss,† he says. I I become more upset. â€Å"I’m having an anxiety attack,† I say. He looks at me, confused. â€Å"I’ll be right back,† he says. He runs down the stairs and a few minutes later returns with a folding chair and acold waterbottle. He sets the chairupagainst the wall adjacent to the bathroom line. â€Å"Thank you,† I say to him. He nods and quickly disappears. I start to spiral down the rabbit hole. My heart is pounding, my ears feel like they’re stuffed with cotton, my vision is tunneling. I feel like everyone in the line is staring at me.Chaperones on the tripcome up and talk to me. I’d had a fever for four days straight until this morning, so they think I have a fever again.They try to give me medicinefor a fever, but I’ve already takenmedicine just a few hours ago. I try to tell them what’s wrong. They won’t listen to me. I can barely hear them;Ijustwish them and everyone else would disappear. I wish I would disappear. Suddenly, a woman is kneeling in front of me. She’saveryattractive, middle-aged, blonde woman. â€Å"Are you okay?† she asks me. She seems to be the only person who genuinely cares. â€Å"No,† I say. â€Å"Can I pray with you?† sheinquires. â€Å"Okay,† I say. She prays for me and I feel the slightest bitofcalm.When theprayerends,I am terrified again. God, please help me.This was all I could think for the remainderof the night. It only got worse after this moment. That night and the last 3 days of thetrip became a never-ending nightmare for me. The panic didn’t leave me until I got to the airport to fly home. I barely ate for those lastthreedays,feelingsick whenever I tried to eat. I thoughtthatonce I got back to California and was with my parents again, I would be back to my normal self. And I was, for a few weeks. Little did Iknow,those lastthreedaysof the tripwould haunt me in times to come. I’ve struggled with anxiety and OCD ever since I was in the third grade. I’vealways felt like the odd one out because of it. At times, even going to school was a struggle. It held me back from enjoying things and going on trips. Most people have a misconception of anxiety;they believe that it’s just a little bit of nervousness andthat theycan just say â€Å"Don’t worry!† and everything will be all puppies and rainbows. They’re wrong. Having anxiety is like being trapped in your own body. I remember many times when I would be sitting in class and would suddenly feel a rush of panic flood into my body, almost as if somethinghadbeeninjected into my bloodstream. Itwas so terrifying when it would happen that I became afraid of being afraid.Events and trips that used to be appealing and exciting to me increasingly became things I dreaded and avoided. My life gradually became sucked of joy and excitement and saturated with fear and loneliness. One of the worst parts about this struggle was that many of my peers didn’t understand it. I found it very embarrassing, and still do, to have a panic attack in front of other people. I had a friend who would occasionally make fun of my struggle, like it was some hilarious thing to joke about. It hurt me a lot becauseshewas one of my closest friends at the time and the fact that she made those jokes and no one else stood up for me made me feel even more alone and trapped inside of myself. I went to many therapy sessions, did EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), took medication,practiceddeep breathing, exercised, and listened to podcasts. While these thingsdefinitely helped, I still struggled to be calm again. Mymother(who is a licensed marriage and family therapist)and my fatherhave helped meimmensely. I remember one of the times my anxietyhadgottenreally bad, my dad told me, â€Å"Don’t think about tomorrow. Just win this moment, right here, right now.†Simplyfocusing on the importance of the present really helped take the pressure offme. Although I am not perfect, I have come such a long way from where I began, and through thisI have learned so many life lessons. No, it was not easy. It was incredibly painful and devastating at times. However, I made it through,and I continue to push through. Because of my experience with anxiety, not only have I been able to help some of my friends who struggle with it, but I have also been able to educate some of my peers about anxiety so they canhave a better understanding. As Leo Buscaglia puts it, â€Å"Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.†, I am reminded to stay present in every moment and push my hardest to enjoy today, while today lasts. â€Å"Hot Auctions Hot BINs End Soon.†Welcome to ComicArtFans!, comicartfans.com/gallerypiece.asp?piece=595672. Leo Buscaglia Quotes.BrainyQuote. Xplore, n.d. Web. 11 Feb. 2019.